Looking Back, Looking Forward
by Manzana
Summary: PC Movie-verse: "As opposed to hundreds of years later, when you're younger." The Pevensies' thoughts in the treasure room.


_But don't try getting there the same way twice; indeed, don't try getting there at all. It'll happen when you're not looking for it. And don't talk too much about it even among yourselves. And don't mention it to anyone else unless you find they've had adventures of the same sort themselves. - Prof. Kirk: The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe _

* * *

They listened to the Professor's words, but they could not obey. How does one ignore nearly two decades of life, of living, just because their body no longer matches their experiences? So the four children, who use to be Grown-Up Kings & Queens, used the daylight hours to practice their new masks, that of good little English school children, (Lucy, you are suppose to shake his hand, not curtsy!) while saving the worries of Home for the privacy of nighttime, (how long do you thing before the Tisroc comes sniffing; or the Lone Islands start getting uppity?).

The summer is both longer and shorter than they expect and unfortunately, it will be ending soon. Though their masks soon become good enough to fool strangers, casual acquaintances, and, best of all, teachers, the woman they called Mother would be able to see the lie in a heartbeat.

"This ridiculous!" Peter exploded one afternoon after failing, again, to walk properly. (His posture was all wrong and his hand kept going to his hip.) "There were hundreds of people watching us grow up the first time, now we have only to worry about one. Surely, this is hardly cause for such alarm!"

"Ah, but you forget, Brother, this is not simply one person. This is the one person who knew our childhood selves better than anyone, save Aslan." Susan admonished.

"And we have both more and less at stake this time, as well." Edmund added. "No human had been seen for almost a hundred years when we began. Our subjects were not people, but unique individuals in all manner of being. There were no falsehoods between us, all knew our origins. They trusted us at Aslan's say-so. Now, instead of leading the way, we must conform to the rules of this society." He shrugged. "On the upside, England is not going to war if we misstep in our charade."

"In truth, I fear that even if we were to perfect our affectation, she will still see we are no longer entirely 'Hers';" Susan continued. "Now, start again."

Just two weeks before they are to return to the place of their earliest memories, after another evening of pondering dark "What ifs" (Harvest will be starting soon, do you think there will be enough to see everyone through the winter?), and the horrifying realization that they will once again be _SCHOOL_ children, scattered across the country; they all dreamed of Home, each one seeing the parts of Narnia that they liked best.

After many satisfying hours of relaxation and play, they all found themselves suddenly, in the surreal way of dreams, standing at the heart of Cair Paravel in the Royal Garden. And there before them, in all his wild glory, was Aslan. With one voice they cried out in joy, and swiftly engulfed him, as is the natural response of any who have ever walked in peace with the Great Lion.

"Aslan, have you come to take us Home?" Lucy made no effort to dampen her joy as they settled themselves around Him, for though they all knew this was a dream, it was a True Dream and anything He said here would come to be.

"No, my child, I have not. Everything you were sent to do, you accomplished, and more. Now, you are needed in the world to which you were born."

"All the skills we have acquired in our time, no one would ever let us use them at this age. There are far too many people more appropriate to allow us to be the leaders we were trained to be. There, we are merely children. What use can we possibly be?" Edmund giving voice to the question they had been turning over endlessly since their return.

"It is as children you are needed."

"Then this will be a task we shall fail, for I cannot be less than I am." Peter said, bitterness creeping into his tone. "My body may belong to a boy, but my mind has seen over 30 Summers. I have harvested the fruits of the land, led troops into battle, negotiated peace, and held both man and beast in my arms as they lay dying. The boy you ask me to be would never, could never have done any of those things.

When we fell from the Wardrobe, a tangled pile of bodies made of limbs time had made alien and the gut-punch of things forgotten, disorientation was to be expected. All knowledge of Before had faded from our mind, as the fog fades in the morning sun. Until the morning of our return, I had forgotten this place _Existed_."

"It is true." Lucy added. "And our time in Narnia far outstrips the time we have lived in the land of our birth. My years, in particular, may be likened to a candle against a bonfire, so great is one to the other."

"Ah, but without the candle, the bonfire would have never begun. Do you think you were chosen by accident? I knew who you were, who you would be before you ever set foot in Narnia. I knew what would pass when I Called you there. Yes, Edmund, I knew and Called you still. For of all the ways it could have been, the only chance of success was with you four.

It is true that it will be years before you can use many of the things you have learned. But compassion, mercy, wisdom, tolerance, patience, inner-strength; these things know no age limit, and you carry them in spades.

The darkness you faced in my name, the evil you fought, those are burdens you need no longer carry. If you lay these troubles at my feet, I shall hold them safe until there is a need for you to reclaim them. In return, I ask that you learn to admire _This_ world and all those in it."

At his words, the four realized they were no longer in the garden (the dreamscape having shifted again) but reclining in front of the fire at their home in Finchly, the way they often had at the Cair. It was both reassuring and disquieting to see The Lion in a place so ordinary.

"But what of Narnia? Will we ever see her again?" Susan asked.

"Narnia will keep, dear one. For now, simply enjoy the wonders of this world. And remember: Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen."

* * *

It did not happen completely overnight, but little by little. There was no panic as they realized they could not exactly recall the smell of the Western Woods after the rain, or when their feet forgot the steps to the Dryad's Waltz. Aslan had taken their worry along with all the pain & joys of Narnia. He would give everything back when they needed him to.

By the time they were to return home, they seemed to be every bit as ordinary as any other children. Professor Kirk was a little sad to note that their regal bearing, so obvious in the beginning, had faded away. Peter, for instance, had so much Boy in his step it was hard to believe he had ever been King. (His posture was all wrong and he dropped his shoulders at odd angles.)

They were not, however, returning completely unaltered. Lucy sometimes curtsied while shaking your hand and Edmund displayed a degree of forbearance that had been a delightful change. Peter had developed listening skills to rival a priest in confession and Susan now demonstrated a knack for organization that would make a quartermaster weep with joy.

All four had become both independent and inter-reliant in a way that baffled the Professor, giving him a headache on more than one occasion. He could only imagine what their mother would think.

* * *

**AN**: I would like to apologize for disappearing; RL and all that. I have had a million things competing for my attention this past year, and writing fell to the very bottom of the list of things-to-do. I would like to promise that I am back for good, but who really know how long my muse will hold out? Thanks for your understanding and support.


End file.
